Why I Have a Problem with Religious Debates

I'm going to perform one of the most dangerous feats that exists on the internet. I'm going to talk about religion.

So, why do I have a problem with religious debates? Because they hardly ever end well. The other day I had a wonderful conversation with a friend of mine concerning various forms of Christianity, Indigenous beliefs and ancient mythologies. It was fantastic. We didn't agree on all points, but both of us became a little more educated about humanity and how it functions. We both left happy and interested in the topic. This has only happened about three or four times in my entire life.

I am afraid to talk about religion, because I feel if I ever bring it up, I will be attacked no matter how peaceful and philosophical I wish to be on the topic. I am defined, by upbringing and action, as a protestant baptist. I am not exactly...devout, but I have my own set of beliefs and values that I have taken from this faction of religion and many others as well. I love to learn about religion as long as it's the facts and not a heated debate about who is right. Because I already know that the answer is NO ONE. I don't believe any one person is right about anything. I think elements of truth exist in all belief systems, which is why we, as a curious and reasonable (hah) species should take the time to be open-minded and learn what other cultures and religions have to offer. The older I get, the more I see the similarities rather than the differences between the majority of religions in the world. So why can't we sit down together and have a chat about it without the world imploding?

My answer is that humans simply have too many opinions. Due to experience, upbringing and education influencing us, we all just have too many perspectives. There will always be fanatics. There will always be moderates. To think that this is any different, that one faction is evil and the others are good, or that one day all of us will be united under the same banner is unreasonable. What we can work towards is understanding and open-mindedness. Tolerance is the key to peace in the future...of course that is an opinion that many would refute. Hence my conclusion that humans will never change in this aspect. My biggest issue is all the people who try to impose or force their beliefs or religion onto others.

What I find amazing is where all the hatred and unease comes from. So many people think of epic battles and oppression between countries and cultures...across hundreds of ethnic groups with thousands of morals and values. I see it on the internet, in random chat rooms, on the street, in the malls, on the train and even in a friend's home. I can't tell you the number of times I've looked at the comments on a video, only to find an argument about the existence of God, when the video itself has nothing to do with religion (and similar topics). What scares me the most is the level some people can't be reasoned with. There's no room for consideration, debate or critical thought. These people see what they believe as Truth (yes with a capital T) and won't give a little to the possibility that they are wrong. I know I'm wrong in many ways about a lot of subjects, but I try to listen and learn. It also makes me vulnerable.

An example would be a time when I was visiting a friend to watch Lord of the Rings (ironically, LOTR has a lot of religious under-tones...which too can be debated, but I digress), and somehow the topic of religion came up. Namely my belief in God and my attendance at church on Sunday mornings. Now, before I get into this, I would like to make my position CLEAR. I am extremely moderate and believe in peaceful co-existence (in case you haven't gathered that yet). I believe in a God (or at least a higher deity of sorts), I think that the morals and values that are the fundamental basis of many religions all over the world (like love, peace, moderation, charity etc.) are aspects to aspire to, I know that religions and other factions can bring people together and unite them as a community (also between religions and factions) and I think everyone should be allowed to believe what they want to as long as they don't force those beliefs on others (for instance, I am writing this post in order to convey my position, but I don't expect anyone to agree...I leave that up to the person to decide). My philosophy is a lot more complicated of course, and I have struggled with it immensely, but that's the gist of it. At this said movie night, my beliefs were attacked without much chance to defend myself, and this was frightening.

I remember saying something about being at church on Sunday morning, which was a mistake in my friend's presence. Normally I don't like church that much. I feel like an outsider a lot of the time (for reasons other than the religion itself), but I attend to make my family happy, which in turn makes me happy. I respect my family and the life they have brought me up in, and I intend to honour that respect despite what I may believe deep down. At any rate, he asked me why I was going to church if I didn't like it. As I explained a moment ago, I said that it made my family happy. He said that I should do what made ME happy rather than my family, and to do otherwise was idiocy. While I agree that freedom, choice and the right to be happy is something we should all be able to have, part of my happiness relies on my family being happy. My friend did not find this explanation acceptable. Instead we entered a rather one-sided debate about how Christianity has been inherently evil and misleading since the dawn of its creation. I countered that it was mostly the fanatics that ruined it for everyone else. He had the all-powerful "but look at the renaissance and the indoctrination there. Hundreds of people have died in the name of religion. People still do. People have been oppressed, forced to believe things they don't want to and driven to commit horrible deeds." I don't disagree at all with these statements, but it's not the religion itself that's the problem. The problem lies in the system, in the individuals that become corrupted for various reasons and a general lack of education (or the desire to be educated). The religion-bashing carried on for some time, but to make a long story short, my friend would not let us carry on with the evening until I said, at the very least, that I was agnostic. The denial of many of my beliefs wasn't what upset me the most that day. What upset me the most was that a person I considered a friend, drove me to the verge of tears, because they thought they were trying to "save me".

Which is what I don't understand. He is an atheist, and yet he used the same tactics and arguments that fanatics in religious factions use in order to force others to think the same way as them. In that way, he was contradicting himself by using the same principles he hates in order to prove that he was right.

So people, please leave me alone, please leave others alone. If you are willing to learn, to educate, to be reasonable and have an open-mind, then I wholly encourage thought and debate concerning religion. If not, keep your beliefs to yourself. I don't want to be preached to. I don't want to be told that I'm being saved from falsehood, misleading information, fanatic cults, stupid organizations, heaven, hell, or the Great Effing Pumpkin. I don't want to be yelled at, I don't want to be attacked, I don't want the hatred. I am prepared to accept the consequences of my beliefs, whatever the future holds for them. Please people, for the love of all that is good and holy (what ever you may think that is), let me be. Stop trying to rescue me. I don't want to be saved.

Showing a Little Restraint

Came here to rant because I don't think my friend deserves to be ranted at when she's only trying to help her friend. At any rate, a friend of mine is at University down in Southern California and a friend of hers was asking for a little fashion advice. This is all fine and dandy, but I have a little bit of an issue with the phrase "teaching a girl to wear proper girl's clothes". What does that even mean? Sounds like something out of the 1800's or 1900's where the old ladies would stuff young girls into fluffy, uncomfortable dresses and corsets to be "proper young ladies". Yes, something out of the time where showing a little ankle skin was a sin against the natural world.

Now I'm just calling up that unsolvable issue of gender and gender roles. What I NEVER could understand was why a girl or a boy couldn't wear certain things or play certain games just because of a few physical differences in the unspeakable areas. Of course there is some practical aspects of clothing or toys designed for one gender or another, but why can't I, as a girl, not wear baggy t-shirts or be good at video games or play with Transformers or like Martial Arts movies? Why is it taboo for a young boy to play with something like dolls? It baffles me. Everyone's a victim to this. I'm still struggling with my video editing and posting, especially when most of them think I'm a guy.

Okay so fashion to make a girl look more "girly" I suppose isn't such a big deal. What REALLY got me was the second nuclear strike of a statement: "She wants to look hot to get her boyfriend back." Here's where the rage and restraint comes in, because when I see this I want to beat some sense into the girl with a giant book called "What the hell are you thinking?"

A) If looks are what your relationship is based on, GOD it's not going to last long.
B) A boyfriend that needs to be won back with sex appeal has to be a selfish, shallow, pig-headed dumbass, so why would you WANT to be back with him? (Seriously I'm thinking of some douchebag with a popped collar and slick, greasy hair...look at me profile...)
C) This woman obviously can't do anything for herself to be that DESPERATE to want to be back with such a person.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe this was worded poorly on my friend's part, or maybe I'm missing a bit of the story, but judging on what people are generally like, I'm going to guess that this is pretty accurate. GOD WOMAN HAVE A LITTLE DIGNITY. I don't care what kind of issues you have, getting back together with a guy who treats you nothing more than a plaything is not going to help you. Jesus Christ almighty on a mountain with a goat eating a scoop of ice cream during a hail storm.

My friend is doing a good deed and trying to help the girl with what she wants, but really, is this ACTUALLY going to help? It's no wonder our world is so messed up. I'm lucky I don't have to deal with that kind of bull crap often. I have people who accept me for who I am.

When did I turn into such a big feminist?

Defeat Really is Bitter

And costs me $500 dollars. Seems unfair that a course I believed to be non-mathematical in its approach just so happens to need math in order to solve more than half of the problems. I had to judge a course based on just under less than three hours of instruction, and decide whether to withdraw or not. This first class gave me no clues as to the approaches to the course. The prof said "simple math" was needed. Someone other than a math major PLEASE tell me that calculus is "simple math". I never took calculus in my life. EVER. No where in the course description did it even say that I needed calculus, probability and algebra to complete this course. Sure there were alternatives to using calculus, but that involved more math. I walked into this course, two days a week, three hours each day for six weeks under the impression that it was pure logic, reasoning, graphs, tables and diagrams, NOT equations and numbers. After the "withdraw with no penalties" date, which was a day after the first day of this course, I was supposed to know all this. First class didn't tell me anything. POP THERE GOES $500! Oh no big deal. I'm only an unemployed student with at least a year and a half of university to go. I obviously have $500 dollars lying around to just throw down the drain!

The fact that you don't get your money back is a giant kick in the rear end...a rear end with a broken tail bone. Unfortunately I can't complain about it because it's reasonable. If they gave money back after more than a couple classes, any person could walk in, take up the prof's time, get all the juicy knowledge and then run with it. BUT (and that but is a giant one), University should cost so much in the first place. Education is supposed to be a good thing for a country right? So can someone please tell me WHY they are raising tuition prices again next fall? If you want universities to be selective about how many people they let in, why not just make the standards for getting in higher? Anyone who cannot afford university cannot get in. Oh oops I forgot! Student loans! How silly of me. Those of course take years to pay off, and that only becomes harder when you don't get that lovely high-paying job you always wanted, despite your wonderful degree(s). Of course the money goes to research and upkeep and salary paying etc etc, but the funny thing is, is that the government puts such a small amount of money into schools and universities that they NEED to charge more and more every year. THANK YOU ALBERTA FOR YOUR (lack of) SUPPORT FOR HIGHER EDUCATION.

I'm overly bitter because I was defeated by the course I thought would turn out a lot better than it did. I still think the subject is interesting, and I understand half of what we've learned so far, it's just not good enough. A withdrawal (W) looks better than a fail (F) on a transcript, so that's what I'm doing. And I feel extraordinarily shitty. Nothing like spending sixteen hours over the past two days on a single subject just to condemn it to failure at 3 in the morning the day before an assignment is due. So in the end we have dual blame: false advertising and my inability to comprehend equations I have never seen before in my life. Perhaps if I spent double the time, got some help (though the prof was out of town all weekend and couldn't answer his e-mail), and thought to browse through the textbook BEFORE committing to the class, I would have come out better. I didn't, so I paid the price.

THANK YOU UNIVERSITY AND POOR WORK ETHIC FOR SCREWING ME OUT OF MY TIME AND MONEY.

I Lied

I'm actually going to talk about something a little more serious. I like to try and be funny and make jokes, but sometimes there are things that need to be discussed with a little less humour. Not that I've been that funny so far anyway. I think maybe I'm just a bit strange and spit out something clever once in a blue moon (once I can get past lame cliches).

I suppose I should get to the point though. I really feel like there is no place for me on the internet. What is that place? The place of a 19-year-old girl attending university, with mediocre ideas, talents and perspectives. I'd like to think I could make a difference, or make someone laugh or feel better, but let's face it, only the truly great can actually get something out of the slum everyone calls the internet. Anything less than great gets ignored, ridiculed or demeaned. For example, my videos, my writing, hardly anyone gives a rat's ass about them. They are too under-advertised, not original enough (or not good enough in general) and a lot of the good ideas have already been taken. I have a couple of fans on YouTube, but I'm sure the moment they find out I'm not actually a man they'll either start hitting on me or stop watching my videos. In terms of the "hitting on", it has happened with all but a handful of "gentlemen" I meet online. In fact when one found out on a forum I used to visit, I couldn't have a conversation with him without him wanting to have "cyberdates". Oh and he talked leik dis an sed he was aktuly 19 but dat he was relly not dat brite. God that was annoying. In other words the moment I cease to be a man, my value, any respect anyone has of me disappears. I know this isn't always the case, but it sure as hell has happened to me a lot.

One of the reasons I play some of the more "hardcore" videogames is because guys are still oblivious of the fact that girls actually play them. It's getting worse, but most of the time women just settle for casual gaming like many of the games on the Wii. And I'm sorry ladies but Addictinggames.com doesn't count. I'm talking about Starcraft, Command and Conquer, Halo, Half Life etc etc etc. These games are mostly dominated by men, or thought to be dominated by men. I actually have respect for women who actually make a name for themselves in professional gaming. I look at myself, who plays a wide variety of games, but never really gets GOOD at them and I am actually jealous. When I say this is not the case with all men and women, I really mean it. There are some nice guys out there that don't give a damn about what gender you are, and there are many girls that play these video games, both for fun and competatively...it's just some of the jerks out there that make it rather intimidating. I've pretty much given up on multiplayer gaming and just play the single player campaigns for fun. I love it when friends can get together to play games and have a good time. When it gets to the point where people are playing just to be better than everyone else and show off, that's when people begin to run around wearing their dicks on their heads screaming about how awesome they are and that they are at the top of one list or another or how they reached level gazillion etc etc. And everyone KNOWS this makes you more of a man.

Oh that's a load off. Seriously, the moment that people stop acting like children online and start treating everyone properly is the day I crawl out of the shadows and start engaging fully with the interwebs. Looks like I need a new hobby, because these shadows are looking pretty comfortable right now.

Look Mommy I'm a Porn Star!

Bet that got your attention. If not maybe this will: http://www.newsweek.com/id/191247?GT1=43002

I already knew society was falling into the cesspool of cocky humans who think if you cannot be beautiful then life is not worth living. Now over-pretentious parents are dressing up their children to look like porn stars and Barbie dolls to be paraded and dragged around like toys. Okay I'm being a little unfair here. Even porn stars and Barbie have some dignity. These parents are forcing everything they couldn't be onto their children. Not only that, they are teaching them that beauty is everything and that they cannot be anything else BUT beauty queens. I mean sure it's fun to be pretty and try out mommy's make up and such, but this is ridiculous. You can argue whatever point you want, but even if the child seems to love it...they don't know anything else. They are taught to be shallow and intolerant. When the ones you look to for support are telling you that you must be prettier and better than everyone else, that's all they are going to think in the future. Then people wonder why there is so much bullying and violence and discontent in schools and workplaces.

I think of my childhood and none of this was forced on me. Influences everywhere told me I had to have pretty hair, wear make up, have the right clothes etc. I experimented with make-up and such, but I chose to have an actual childhood rather than spend hundreds of dollars and hours on being something that I'm not. I think this is because my parents told me that beauty was nothing...false, a scam, something that people did indeed have, but were not required to have. This never meant I shouldn't care for myself and take care of my body. This did not mean that I should go to school or work with hair sticking up from odd places and whatnot (though I sometimes do...university does that to me sometimes...), it means that we shouldn't put so much importance on such a fake part of ourselves that we neglect to see what's really important here. I mean seriously...teens getting laser hair removal? Five-year-olds going to the spa? Elementary school children using lipstick and eyeliner? I'm sorry, but if this is what society has come to, we're in way over our heads in the bull shit heap.

I am 19 years old. I am technically still YOUNG. This is the generation following me. I feel like a crotchety old woman with nothing better to do than to complain about those darned teenagers and "kids these days". I haven't been popular. I haven't ever been the prettiest. One thing I do have is at least some threads of self-worth. I don't wear make-up as a rule, and when I do it's in moderation. I usually use some lip balm or some concealer (I get AMAZING dark circles under my eyes), and I try and take good care of my skin and hair. Naturally my hair and skin are prone to dryness, and I can't help it sometimes. I often leave the house with my hair half-dry after a shower, chewing on something like a bagel, trying not to drop half the things I'm carrying. I don't consider myself ugly, but I most certainly don't spend hours on my appearance (it's usually about 10-20 minutes in the morning at most). Does this make me a worse person than the people who spend "$300,000 on just her hair and face"? I have chosen to live my life truthfully, comfortably, not being worried about what people think of me 24/7. I'd rather spend my time reading books, making videos, playing games, having fun with friends etc. As for relationships? Well I think it's nice to have someone see me for me rather than a living, breathing, sex-toy. I'm glad I missed this whole trend by a few years (well stuff like this was around when I was little, but it never seemed nearly as bad).

That's all I really have to say for the time being. Not so funny, but I was angry enough to write about it. YAY I'M FALLING INTO THE BLOGGER NICHE! Or something...