I Lied

I'm actually going to talk about something a little more serious. I like to try and be funny and make jokes, but sometimes there are things that need to be discussed with a little less humour. Not that I've been that funny so far anyway. I think maybe I'm just a bit strange and spit out something clever once in a blue moon (once I can get past lame cliches).

I suppose I should get to the point though. I really feel like there is no place for me on the internet. What is that place? The place of a 19-year-old girl attending university, with mediocre ideas, talents and perspectives. I'd like to think I could make a difference, or make someone laugh or feel better, but let's face it, only the truly great can actually get something out of the slum everyone calls the internet. Anything less than great gets ignored, ridiculed or demeaned. For example, my videos, my writing, hardly anyone gives a rat's ass about them. They are too under-advertised, not original enough (or not good enough in general) and a lot of the good ideas have already been taken. I have a couple of fans on YouTube, but I'm sure the moment they find out I'm not actually a man they'll either start hitting on me or stop watching my videos. In terms of the "hitting on", it has happened with all but a handful of "gentlemen" I meet online. In fact when one found out on a forum I used to visit, I couldn't have a conversation with him without him wanting to have "cyberdates". Oh and he talked leik dis an sed he was aktuly 19 but dat he was relly not dat brite. God that was annoying. In other words the moment I cease to be a man, my value, any respect anyone has of me disappears. I know this isn't always the case, but it sure as hell has happened to me a lot.

One of the reasons I play some of the more "hardcore" videogames is because guys are still oblivious of the fact that girls actually play them. It's getting worse, but most of the time women just settle for casual gaming like many of the games on the Wii. And I'm sorry ladies but Addictinggames.com doesn't count. I'm talking about Starcraft, Command and Conquer, Halo, Half Life etc etc etc. These games are mostly dominated by men, or thought to be dominated by men. I actually have respect for women who actually make a name for themselves in professional gaming. I look at myself, who plays a wide variety of games, but never really gets GOOD at them and I am actually jealous. When I say this is not the case with all men and women, I really mean it. There are some nice guys out there that don't give a damn about what gender you are, and there are many girls that play these video games, both for fun and competatively...it's just some of the jerks out there that make it rather intimidating. I've pretty much given up on multiplayer gaming and just play the single player campaigns for fun. I love it when friends can get together to play games and have a good time. When it gets to the point where people are playing just to be better than everyone else and show off, that's when people begin to run around wearing their dicks on their heads screaming about how awesome they are and that they are at the top of one list or another or how they reached level gazillion etc etc. And everyone KNOWS this makes you more of a man.

Oh that's a load off. Seriously, the moment that people stop acting like children online and start treating everyone properly is the day I crawl out of the shadows and start engaging fully with the interwebs. Looks like I need a new hobby, because these shadows are looking pretty comfortable right now.