It's Been Awhile....

...since my last post. The blog isn't really a priority in my life, more of a thing to do when I'm bored or putting things off. As of yesterday I am officially done for the summer. I have no job, no major current projects, no school and I may or may not be leaving in a week. So I have one week of BLAH and "I don't know what the monkey to do with myself". I recently bought Overlord 2 for $21 dollars (which pleased me seeing how I have only about $40 dollars of spending money to my name) and it is absolutely fantastic. Of course it has some issues (one being that Gary, my laptop, cannot run it...well at least), and others including minor gameplay and graphics issues. Otherwise I'm enjoying the story, the game, THE HUMOUR, and the general concept behind it. I LOVE playing the antagonist, or the "evil side". Puts a new twist on things. It has one of those "choose good or evil" type set-ups, only you choose between "evil and really evil". There is a kind of neutral area as well, which I seem to be hanging around. It's nice to be able to enslave a town one day and blow it up the next. Blowing up things is fun. Especially in this game. There are a lot of jokes, puns, silly instances and sick humour, which I find hilarious. Too many games are so serious and hard and dark. This is dark with and beautiful wave of hilarity washing though it. I hope to finish the game before leaving (whenever that is), because I can't continue it while I'm gone on my laptop. I also have a time period of about 10pm - whenever I'm too tired to play anymore and pass out to finish it, seeing how that's the only time period the family computer is not being used one way or another. One thing I can't wait for is the plot twist. Apparently there's a rather exciting and surprising plot twist, much like the first Overlord. If it's anything like the first Overlord, I'm all for it, and very much looking forward to it.

So aside from Overlording, I finished my Dungeon Keeper 2 series. Mission 20 was posted about...a week ago ish, and is currently sitting in my channel in 9 parts. YES 9 parts. I promised to post Mission 20 in its entirety, and that recording was over 1 hour and 10 minutes long. I can't remember the full time, but it's all there. I only have the bonus levels to do now, and any other random things I can come up with. I will be beginning my new project soon hopefully. I'll work on it on holidays and start posting on my return. The plan is to do a remake of my "Bercuda's Quest: Avenging Gertrude" a project I started and gave up on last summer. It was a screenshot story making a farce of Dungeon Siege, a game released by Microsoft quite some years ago. It came out sometime in my late elementary - early Jr. High years, so somewhere around 7-8 years ago. I honestly can't remember and don't feel like looking it up at the moment. I have some minor changes to make to my idea however. The main character's name will probably change, I will be posting the video either in Chapters, or just parts as I record it, I'm not sure. I will not be recording town and preparation parts, so I will need map pictures and recaps of missions and quests before each video. The story is, essentially the same: a farce of a journey led by a bald farmer wishing to avenge his cow Gertrude. It is doubling as entertainment and a walkthrough, so this should be interesting. Hopefully it will be received nicely enough. I don't know what the DK2 people will say, but this is all part of a grand experiment...and to relieve my boredom.

Defeat Really is Bitter

And costs me $500 dollars. Seems unfair that a course I believed to be non-mathematical in its approach just so happens to need math in order to solve more than half of the problems. I had to judge a course based on just under less than three hours of instruction, and decide whether to withdraw or not. This first class gave me no clues as to the approaches to the course. The prof said "simple math" was needed. Someone other than a math major PLEASE tell me that calculus is "simple math". I never took calculus in my life. EVER. No where in the course description did it even say that I needed calculus, probability and algebra to complete this course. Sure there were alternatives to using calculus, but that involved more math. I walked into this course, two days a week, three hours each day for six weeks under the impression that it was pure logic, reasoning, graphs, tables and diagrams, NOT equations and numbers. After the "withdraw with no penalties" date, which was a day after the first day of this course, I was supposed to know all this. First class didn't tell me anything. POP THERE GOES $500! Oh no big deal. I'm only an unemployed student with at least a year and a half of university to go. I obviously have $500 dollars lying around to just throw down the drain!

The fact that you don't get your money back is a giant kick in the rear end...a rear end with a broken tail bone. Unfortunately I can't complain about it because it's reasonable. If they gave money back after more than a couple classes, any person could walk in, take up the prof's time, get all the juicy knowledge and then run with it. BUT (and that but is a giant one), University should cost so much in the first place. Education is supposed to be a good thing for a country right? So can someone please tell me WHY they are raising tuition prices again next fall? If you want universities to be selective about how many people they let in, why not just make the standards for getting in higher? Anyone who cannot afford university cannot get in. Oh oops I forgot! Student loans! How silly of me. Those of course take years to pay off, and that only becomes harder when you don't get that lovely high-paying job you always wanted, despite your wonderful degree(s). Of course the money goes to research and upkeep and salary paying etc etc, but the funny thing is, is that the government puts such a small amount of money into schools and universities that they NEED to charge more and more every year. THANK YOU ALBERTA FOR YOUR (lack of) SUPPORT FOR HIGHER EDUCATION.

I'm overly bitter because I was defeated by the course I thought would turn out a lot better than it did. I still think the subject is interesting, and I understand half of what we've learned so far, it's just not good enough. A withdrawal (W) looks better than a fail (F) on a transcript, so that's what I'm doing. And I feel extraordinarily shitty. Nothing like spending sixteen hours over the past two days on a single subject just to condemn it to failure at 3 in the morning the day before an assignment is due. So in the end we have dual blame: false advertising and my inability to comprehend equations I have never seen before in my life. Perhaps if I spent double the time, got some help (though the prof was out of town all weekend and couldn't answer his e-mail), and thought to browse through the textbook BEFORE committing to the class, I would have come out better. I didn't, so I paid the price.

THANK YOU UNIVERSITY AND POOR WORK ETHIC FOR SCREWING ME OUT OF MY TIME AND MONEY.

Long Walks Accomplish Things

Took my visual communications teacher's advice and did a bit of wandering and looking today. I like to wander and walk in the first place, but I paid more attention to the things around me this time. Well...most of the time. Seemed like the only time I ever completely zoned out was in the middle of a busy street. Probably not a good place. I walked for about an hour and a half from my doctor's office, ignoring all the buses on one street. I was tempted to walk all the way home, but the bus that goes to my house pulled up just as I was walking by the stop. Anyhow, I looked at the fronts of people's houses. These houses were the small, boxy and rectangular kind, but it was amazing how different they were. I saw at least 2 bright purple houses, a lime green one, more pink ones than I thought existed, a REALLY bright blue one and another in which I spent a few minutes deciding whether it was yellow or green (I settled on grellow). A lot of people had cute little bird-baths, wooden crafty things, wind chimes, and ceramic animals, which told me someone who likes nature, crafty items or decorating lived there. The houses with little upkeep, overgrown yards, worn-down siding, rotting porches and sidewalks with weeds growing between the cracks told me the owners were either busy, old or lazy (or all of those). One house was the perfect "I capture and eat children for breakfast then use their bones to build common appliances and furniture". I'm not exactly sure how you'd build an appliance out of bones...but definitely furniture. The entire house was run-down, bushes growing over and covering the path leading up to it. Weeds were everywhere and the grass was already starting to get unruly. Cracks in the wall, broken shutters on the windows, a very steep grey-shingled roof and a very un-kept sidewalk. Might have been a little creepier because the sun was blocked by clouds and it was raining. All that was missing was the thunder and lightning. Running away from that tangent before it gets any longer...I also saw houses that were perfectly clean, up-kept, plain, painted, and had straight, even and evenly green lawns. I'm guessing neat freaks and perfectionists live in those ones. A lot of them had sitting areas and lawn chairs out front for people who like to sit and relax, watch the world and chug coffee. People who had kids were easy to identify when toys or bikes were lying out front. Not too many of those. Another rarity was houses with nice gardens. I only saw about two or three of those. I guess people are too busy to work for hours on those things. Either people who love to garden or old people lived in those ones.

All in all I just found it interesting. I may do my coms project on it, but I'm not too sure yet. I keep getting new ideas. I think I'm just excited about running around taking pictures of random things, creeping people out at the same time. I just love how our prof is encouraging us to stare at people at school or on the train, and look at things we normally wouldn't. And that sounds really...creepy. Muaha

Bitterness, Laziness or Sparcity

Because I really can't tell anymore. I need to find a job, but here's my problem: Calgary seems to suck for the kind of jobs I want. My only option seems to be retail, and I'm sick of retail. I'm also running out of money. Calgary is a good city, but the job focus here is on oil, business and all the jobs that go with it. That and the only other jobs offered are mundane, repetitive, require X amount of years in experience, or skills I don't have. Working with kids, pets and plants would be interesting. There are some jobs in those fields, mostly camp directors, recreation workers and landscaping (I highly doubt I could do landscaping). The only problem with these jobs is that it involves LIVING things. I have good intentions, but knowing me I'd accidentally hurt, kill or face a law suit. Maybe with a little training and slightly more sleep I could pull it off....but I need to find it first. I'm staying away from the food industry unless it involves candy. I'd get tables, food and orders confused. AND I'M A CLUTZ. I'd spill half the stuff I carry.

Then to add problems to my job search, the workplace must be withing walking distance or close to transit, and if that's the case I couldn't work at night...because I meet tons of weirdos on the train IN THE DAYTIME. I remember taking the bus at 11pm with a friend one night, and a guy was on the phone talking about finding a guy and beating him up. Then two drunk girls got on. My point is that Calgary transit sucks, and that I can't work 1 hour away from my home, and it cannot be an evening shift (unless it's a bus...buses are safer than trains...most the time). Honestly...I could write a whole other entry about all the strange people I've met on the train. Creepy Zoo guy, spitting man, crazy neurotic lady and her escort, praying out-loud lady, and that creepy young guy who always smiles at you...and doesn't stop.

If I had it my way I'd be writing, reading, editing, making videos, designing layouts, researching cool things, working at a museum, working at library (prolly my last choice...too quiet...), working in a bookstore, working in a game store, reviewing things, cateloguing things, organizing stuff, running tours, working at information desks, playing video games all day...(yeah you're already doing that hun...just aren't being paid for it). I know what I like, I know what I want to do, it's just finding a way to do it is so difficult, and it recquires a bit of motivation. I NEED that motivation.

So what does a English and History major do in such a stiff, business city? Complain a bit first. Then run around begging companies completely relevant to your interests to take you on, even for FREE in hopes that they'll eventually pay you. After that doesn't work start looking for semi-relevant jobs with the same false hopes. Then look for anything that pays something other than minimum wage. That will probably work, but if all else fails I'm resorting to my back-up plan. To become a traveling hobo. At least I'll see the world ;)

Silly Computers

They never like to work. I've been surprisingly lucky in getting mine to work over the last two years. Gary (my computer) has survived 2 serious viruses, multiple game crashes, overheating, battery issues, corrupt files and my attempts to run many high-capacity programs at once. I don't know as much as I'd like about how computers work and how to fix them, but I have certainly learned a lot about getting video games (especially old ones) to work on my computer. I think I've just been hella lucky! I've been trying to help a guy on YouTube get Dungeon Keeper 2 working for the past little while. The game didn't work for me either until I installed a NoCD patch, which fixed the game completely (though I still have no idea how). My problem however was that the game wouldn't even start. It would start loading, and then crash. Many people seem to have problems getting the game to work on Vista, which I too run. So I'm not exactly sure why my game runs nicely while others try the same fixes and continue to have issues. This hasn't just happened with DK2 though...Warcraft III, Half Life 1 and Dungeon Siege all have worked the same. Same with other programs like GIMP, Skype and some media players. I heard the version of GIMP (image editing program) isn't even compatible with Vista. So I think I've been hit with some sort of luck bolt. My computer runs fine (most of the time) and I've gotten a ton of things to work that others can't. Maybe it's a good combination of sound and video cards, maybe a well-built computer, or maybe I just installed/downloaded the right things at the right time in the right places...all by accident. Now if I were only that lucky in my searching for a job...

ARGHHHH

Sain died. Stupid Endgame level on Fire Emblem. It's late, I'm not tired, no one is on MSN, I don't feel like recording mission 15 and I need a break before I try the level from hell again. So I came here to complain about it. Yay!

Yeah so this is the last level in the 2003 Gameboy version of Fire Emblem, which is pretty amazing I must say....but I think that about all Fire Emblem games I come across...so far. That is the game is amazing and not the level, although I do get a pretty intense adrenaline rush.

*Spoiler alert*

In case you haven't played the game and want the ending to be a surprise, I'd stop reading because I'm going to be complaining about it in detail for the next few paragraphs.

ANYHOW. I sit down, turn up some epic music on my laptop and then put my headphones on when I began to get complaints seeing how it was past midnight at the time. I pick all my favourite/tough units and prepare myself for what is to come. The level is a "surprise", so you don't get to view the map before playing (although you can just start the level, have a good look and restart if you wish to do so). I threw weapons, elixirs and items at my dudes and prepared myself for what turned out to be a very long cut scene, followed by one of the more difficult final levels I have ever played. I really should make a top ten hardest final boss/endgame level list. Out of other Fire Emblem games that I have played so far I am guessing Radiant Dawn would be another hard one...because I never really reached the end because of the level before it. Sacred Stones and Path of Radiance weren't that bad. I'm currently on the final level in Shadow Dragon, but I haven't finished it yet. I'm not sure how hard Medeus is yet. The boss for Lost Kingdoms on the Gamecube would probably take number 1 and I could probably rant for hours about that as well...BUT THIS IS ABOUT FIRE EMBLEM! FOCUS!

So I watched the cutscene involving weeping merchants, a touching speech about companions and friendship by Eliwood and Nergal spewing something about power, death, my inevitable defeat...blah blah blah. I was then taken to a medium-sized rooms with seven locked doors. Three on each side and one at the very end. Nergal left you to play with his "morphs", which are like undead versions of a handful of bosses you have defeated throughout the game...with super advanced weapons, stats and skills. Imagine a tough boss, multiply it by eight (how many there are), add each weapon class (sword, axe, lance, bow, magic), throw in a couple of tough goons and it all equals to a bucket of sweat and swearing.

Every turn one of the doors is unlocked and the units in each room are unleashed. Nergal doesn't like to wait for you to finish up with the rooms one at a time. If you don't defeat the units in the room when it opens, they will continue to come after you as other doors open. Well all except the bishop dude (forget his name). He just sat there and picked his nose the whole time. Instead one of his sages ran around trying to electrocute Sain the entire time. I defeated 5 of the 8 bosses quite well. The only things effective against them seemed to be the legendary weapons and high level weapons effective against what ever weapon type the bosses were wielding. Then Linus and Lloyd came. Only about three of my units could do considerable damage against them...so an attack was inevitable during their turn. I ran out of space to run, so I decided to attack with everything I had. Athos does a lot of damage, but not enough to kill one or the other. The only chance would be if he did critical damage on his attack and killed one of the units while I focused the rest of my power against the other. I think it was Lloyd who had the brave sword....but it allowed him to attack maybe about 3/4 of my units FOUR TIMES. I can survive 2 maybe...not 4. Not only that I had no one adept with lance...meaning no one with level S lance. That would be the only other thing effective against Linus and Lloyd whom are both sword-wielders. Man...

Also...NILS IS TOO SQUISHY. You are forced to take him along, which makes sense since he's a key story character, but it doesn't really work for my strategy. I was really aggressive in this Fire Emblem. I liked to smash, squish and run-over before asking questions. In other words I'm in favour of the "rush and crush" strategy (which I mentioned on YouTube, and fail to apply in games like Starcraft...). He is a useful unit in that he can buff your units, give them extra turns etc., but he is easy to kill. When the sage pops out to fry your units with lighting, Nils is at high risk. Not only that other ranged bosses will try to kill him as well. For a short time I needed to rescue Nils. I have a feeling he is the key to defeating Lloyd and Linus, but unfortunately Lloyd killed Sain before I could play with it a bit. Why did he die? Well, let me just say I learned a valuable life lesson. 19 + 19 does NOT equal 36.

Just Finished Exams

Is it bad that I am already excited for my spring courses? They aren't even degree requirements really; they are options I WANTED to take. Ever since I heard about Game Theory and Strategical Thinking in economics I was all over it. Seems like the perfect class for a person who plays video and board games half the time. Of course it isn't all about games like that, it's political, economic and diplomatic situations as well. The textbook even goes through an example concerning relationships. All really quite fascinating. That and I'm a huge geek. So now that I have confirmed my geekiness (and the fact that I'm overly proud of it), it is time to talk about my other spring course: Visual Communications. I signed up for this class because I liked the textbook. It was pretty...and really random. If the prof asks the class why we are taking the course, I will actually say that too. The book "The Art of Looking Sideways" is a random collection of...STUFF. It's like picking up a stack of papers with everything from your history notes to your racey magazines to your pathetic attempt at drawing a horse, and having it bound together and sold off the shelves for a ridiculous price (well not so ridiculous compared to my Game Theory text books...). I think it's absolutely fantastic. So the History/English major who desperately needs to take course requirements and who is continually having their GPA brought down by options...is taking an economics and communications course...which are both options. And I wonder why I'm so confused and lost all the time. I think there's a section of my brain that's constantly working to torture the other sections while they run around in circles trying to figure out what's poking it. Yeah I'm going to go play some more Fire Emblem now.

I Lied

I'm actually going to talk about something a little more serious. I like to try and be funny and make jokes, but sometimes there are things that need to be discussed with a little less humour. Not that I've been that funny so far anyway. I think maybe I'm just a bit strange and spit out something clever once in a blue moon (once I can get past lame cliches).

I suppose I should get to the point though. I really feel like there is no place for me on the internet. What is that place? The place of a 19-year-old girl attending university, with mediocre ideas, talents and perspectives. I'd like to think I could make a difference, or make someone laugh or feel better, but let's face it, only the truly great can actually get something out of the slum everyone calls the internet. Anything less than great gets ignored, ridiculed or demeaned. For example, my videos, my writing, hardly anyone gives a rat's ass about them. They are too under-advertised, not original enough (or not good enough in general) and a lot of the good ideas have already been taken. I have a couple of fans on YouTube, but I'm sure the moment they find out I'm not actually a man they'll either start hitting on me or stop watching my videos. In terms of the "hitting on", it has happened with all but a handful of "gentlemen" I meet online. In fact when one found out on a forum I used to visit, I couldn't have a conversation with him without him wanting to have "cyberdates". Oh and he talked leik dis an sed he was aktuly 19 but dat he was relly not dat brite. God that was annoying. In other words the moment I cease to be a man, my value, any respect anyone has of me disappears. I know this isn't always the case, but it sure as hell has happened to me a lot.

One of the reasons I play some of the more "hardcore" videogames is because guys are still oblivious of the fact that girls actually play them. It's getting worse, but most of the time women just settle for casual gaming like many of the games on the Wii. And I'm sorry ladies but Addictinggames.com doesn't count. I'm talking about Starcraft, Command and Conquer, Halo, Half Life etc etc etc. These games are mostly dominated by men, or thought to be dominated by men. I actually have respect for women who actually make a name for themselves in professional gaming. I look at myself, who plays a wide variety of games, but never really gets GOOD at them and I am actually jealous. When I say this is not the case with all men and women, I really mean it. There are some nice guys out there that don't give a damn about what gender you are, and there are many girls that play these video games, both for fun and competatively...it's just some of the jerks out there that make it rather intimidating. I've pretty much given up on multiplayer gaming and just play the single player campaigns for fun. I love it when friends can get together to play games and have a good time. When it gets to the point where people are playing just to be better than everyone else and show off, that's when people begin to run around wearing their dicks on their heads screaming about how awesome they are and that they are at the top of one list or another or how they reached level gazillion etc etc. And everyone KNOWS this makes you more of a man.

Oh that's a load off. Seriously, the moment that people stop acting like children online and start treating everyone properly is the day I crawl out of the shadows and start engaging fully with the interwebs. Looks like I need a new hobby, because these shadows are looking pretty comfortable right now.

Sitting in Poetry Class

Not listening and not doing the German project that was due yesterday. Only thing new about all this today is that my prof got a haircut. I'm not sure how finals are going to work out next week for this class. We're required to memorize poems to use as examples, define a bunch of literary terms we never actually learned about and talk about time periods and authors we sort of learned about. I believe the exam is three hours long...just long enough to prolong my agony and suffering that this class has inflicted on me all year long. The prof seems like a nice guy, but he is too monotone, and seriously, no matter how you look at it, a collection of random words with lines and circles all over the place do not qualify as lecture notes.

I wasn't looking forward to poetry in the first place. When I thought of poets I thought of moody teenagers and fluttery old men ranting about sappy love. After starting the class, I still thought that. Until I took learning into my own hands and started looking at poems that interested me, I didn't have any desire to read poetry. First poet that gave me some faith in the genre is Robert Browning. God he's hilarious, and very descriptive. Then there's James Wright , Gregory Corso and Wole Soyinka, all of whom I really enjoy reading. First poem I actually enjoyed was "The Waking" by Theodore Roethke.

Here's a list of the poems by these authors that improved my opinions of poetry:

"Marriage" - Gregory Corso - http://www.cs.rice.edu/~ssiyer/minstrels/poems/1570.html

"Telephone Conversation" - Wole Soyinka - http://www.k-state.edu/english/westmank/spring_00/SOYINKA.html

"Today I Was Happy, So I Made This Poem" - James Wright - http://notwhatyouthink.org/forum/index.php?action=printpage%3Btopic=168.0

"The Waking" - Theodore Roethke - http://gawow.com/roethke/poems/104.html

"Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came" - Robert Browning - http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/rbrowning/bl-rbrown-childe.htm

2:30am and Waiting...

For my videos to finish rendering. I realized today how much some dedicated viewers/readers/critics are to keeping my motivation high enough to continue creating. I went through some slow periods where I believed no one liked my work and that everything I made was a steaming pile of poop. This is the type of steaming poop that when others step in it they say "EW! Where on earth did this horrible thing come from! The person who left it here should be dragged out into the street and shot!" Not only that, the few people who hold my work in some sort of esteem in turn makes me confident in the things I do. In other words the things I think are terrible really aren't as bad as I thought. I just really really really really really reallyx10^really hope that this applies to my history paper...which I should be getting back within the next two weeks.

Since I mentioned my videos...I'm going to do a little bit of advertising here. My videos so far consist of some of the games I have been playing over the past six months. So far I have made videos of Dungeon Keeper 2, an older game that many people do not know of, and Half Life 2, which many people know about. Most of the Half Life 2 videos, however, will probably be disappearing...because they really are large piles of steamy feces. Really.

My Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/OnyxArdesco

If you visit, I will give you an invisable cookie and....a goat. In reality you'll have my gratitude for at least looking. *insert a giant smiling face*

Look Mommy I'm a Porn Star!

Bet that got your attention. If not maybe this will: http://www.newsweek.com/id/191247?GT1=43002

I already knew society was falling into the cesspool of cocky humans who think if you cannot be beautiful then life is not worth living. Now over-pretentious parents are dressing up their children to look like porn stars and Barbie dolls to be paraded and dragged around like toys. Okay I'm being a little unfair here. Even porn stars and Barbie have some dignity. These parents are forcing everything they couldn't be onto their children. Not only that, they are teaching them that beauty is everything and that they cannot be anything else BUT beauty queens. I mean sure it's fun to be pretty and try out mommy's make up and such, but this is ridiculous. You can argue whatever point you want, but even if the child seems to love it...they don't know anything else. They are taught to be shallow and intolerant. When the ones you look to for support are telling you that you must be prettier and better than everyone else, that's all they are going to think in the future. Then people wonder why there is so much bullying and violence and discontent in schools and workplaces.

I think of my childhood and none of this was forced on me. Influences everywhere told me I had to have pretty hair, wear make up, have the right clothes etc. I experimented with make-up and such, but I chose to have an actual childhood rather than spend hundreds of dollars and hours on being something that I'm not. I think this is because my parents told me that beauty was nothing...false, a scam, something that people did indeed have, but were not required to have. This never meant I shouldn't care for myself and take care of my body. This did not mean that I should go to school or work with hair sticking up from odd places and whatnot (though I sometimes do...university does that to me sometimes...), it means that we shouldn't put so much importance on such a fake part of ourselves that we neglect to see what's really important here. I mean seriously...teens getting laser hair removal? Five-year-olds going to the spa? Elementary school children using lipstick and eyeliner? I'm sorry, but if this is what society has come to, we're in way over our heads in the bull shit heap.

I am 19 years old. I am technically still YOUNG. This is the generation following me. I feel like a crotchety old woman with nothing better to do than to complain about those darned teenagers and "kids these days". I haven't been popular. I haven't ever been the prettiest. One thing I do have is at least some threads of self-worth. I don't wear make-up as a rule, and when I do it's in moderation. I usually use some lip balm or some concealer (I get AMAZING dark circles under my eyes), and I try and take good care of my skin and hair. Naturally my hair and skin are prone to dryness, and I can't help it sometimes. I often leave the house with my hair half-dry after a shower, chewing on something like a bagel, trying not to drop half the things I'm carrying. I don't consider myself ugly, but I most certainly don't spend hours on my appearance (it's usually about 10-20 minutes in the morning at most). Does this make me a worse person than the people who spend "$300,000 on just her hair and face"? I have chosen to live my life truthfully, comfortably, not being worried about what people think of me 24/7. I'd rather spend my time reading books, making videos, playing games, having fun with friends etc. As for relationships? Well I think it's nice to have someone see me for me rather than a living, breathing, sex-toy. I'm glad I missed this whole trend by a few years (well stuff like this was around when I was little, but it never seemed nearly as bad).

That's all I really have to say for the time being. Not so funny, but I was angry enough to write about it. YAY I'M FALLING INTO THE BLOGGER NICHE! Or something...

The Week From Hell is Over!

And I've got a crappy paper and sleep deprivation to show for it.

That seriously had to have been the worst paper I have ever written in my entire lifetime. I was almost embarrassed to hand it in. It really showed me the importance of good preparation and a GOOD TOPIC. The topic I had, (The German Reunification after the Cold War) was a good topic, but I wasn't as enthusiastic about it as I should have been. I did all my research two weeks - one week before...and that consisted of me running around a library finding books that looked like they would be relevant to my topic. Then I took them home, and only completely read one of them that was about 80 pages. I just skimmed the others for anything that looked interesting...I don't even remember what I was trying to argue. That and my thesis sucked. It sucked so much it would put a vacuum to shame. In other words this paper was the equivalent of trying to staple gun a wooden plank to my forehead...then trying to walk around without running into anything. I pretty much did this to myself, and merciful goats it was a hard lesson. If I pull off a C on this paper I will be overjoyed.

This isn't a good thing ladies and gentlemen. This was my term paper. It was worth about 25% of my mark or more. If any other History/English majors out there read this, please please please please please don't be an idiot like me and start these things at least a month ahead. Pick a topic you actually like and then study the hell out of it. If you don't like the class you are in, get out at the BEGINNING of the course. Don't wait until the end to say "oh ho ho this class is simply too passé...excuse me while I shove a crumpet up my arse!" ...I actually don't know anyone who has actually said that, but we'll giggle a bit and move on. Research papers need a lot of work, and honestly they are usually worth the effort. I took on History as a major because of the research paper last term in my "Age of Religious War" class. I loved learning more aobut military technology advancements and the highly debated "Military Revolution" in early modern Europe. The fact that this research paper was a huge pain told me that I needed a different topic, and that this class was not my thing. I have royally messed my academic life up this year focusing on the classes I actually like, depriving the other crummy classes of my time and effort. This is why my options (YES MY OPTIONS) are destroying my mark. From one academic to another (or a possible "another") use your FIRST year to experiment, then get serious, or you too will find a crumpet up your arse.

Something Short

History research papers are my favourite. They are the easiest for me, yet the most time-consuming because of all that research. I can sum them all up in one analogy:

A history research paper is like a mother bird feeding her young. You eat up all the information, let it digest for awhile, then regurgitate it for the hungry University Profs. And they have to eat it too, no matter how disgusting and deformed it has become.

Still Writing Those Papers

But I chose to write this instead.

I must say I'm freaking out, because I left everything to the last minute again. Honestly I don't know anyone who hasn't done that, and those of you that have please share your infinite worldly knowledge of time management. That or fall off a cliff so I don't look so lazy. I'm thinking that a friend of mine and I have a creepily similar mindset, for not 2 days after I made CDT, he makes his own blog...WITH THE SAME TEMPLATE. This happened with Freewebs too. May have even happened with Youtube, but I think I prefer to keep that knowledge unknown. Getting way too weirded out.

Today to waste time (and a little self-preservation) I have decided to talk about the new Fire Emblem for the DS. Fire Emblem has had a special place in my heart right next to Sonic the Hedgehog for gaming since....ehhh about four years. I love the story, I love the gameplay, and I love the challenge. I don't know about any other Fire Emblem players out there, but I make the game harder by not letting any of my characters die. Yes, this means that any time one of my characters die, I start the level over (or from the last save point). I even try to save and recruit all the characters....despite how useless some of them end up being. For anyone who hasn't played Fire Emblem before, the games are turn-based tactical RPGs. The Fire Emblem games take place in fantasy worlds with classic good vs. evil storylines. They also seem to favour the way-ward royal plotline, where the prince or princess' country is taken over by another nation flexing it's superior military might (and usually because some dark, overly malevolent force is bending the ruler of these so-called nations to their will). Though I'm not too sure how these nations accomplish this, for though they have the numbers, all of their generals and soldiers all appear to be giant twats. Then any good soldiers that they have end up being converted to your side anyway. That's besides the point though...ON WITH THE REVIEW YOU GREAT BABBLING TWIT!

Fire Emblem Shadow Dragon is a remake of the original Fire Emblem released only in Japan. I myself have never played the original NES game, but the remake is absolutely brilliant. What it lacks in storytelling, it makes up for in gameplay and prettiness. YES prettiness. This game was so pretty that if this game was converted into a living, breathing human being, I would probably date it. Well that may be going a bit far. If this game were a person it would be making up words and speaking in cheesy clichés. Which would get very irritating after the first few giggles.

Anyhow the game makes use of the duel-screens better than any game I have seen so far. I always found in other Fire Emblem games how annoying flipping between the stats and maps and objectives was. In Shadow Dragon, these screens are displayed on the top half, while the actual game is displayed on the bottom. Everything is laid out for you on the top: character stats, weapon levels, inventory, health, movement and range. Then by pressing the R button you get victory conditions, a lovely little minimap, terrain information, selected character (which shows equipped weapon), turns, number of allies and enemies (and their affiliations) AND the chapter you are on. Absolutely brilliant. Another wonderful set up involves movement. You have the choice of controlling with the buttons or the stylus depending on your style and preferences (I myself prefer the buttons because I find it much quicker). The X button shows you the total movement area of the enemy to better place your units. Selecting a single unit will show that individual unit's movement. The only thing I found irritating about this was that the B button didn't deselect the unit (it does in other Fire Emblem games...). I'd be continually pressing the button before I remembered that it doesn't perform the desired function. I'm just nit-picking now though.

The story is decent. It's not by any means outstanding, but it's decent. The plot keeps you interested enough to keep playing in other words. An obvious "bad-guy" exists, and it's up to blue-haired, boy-wonder, Marth to save the day. That's one thing I never understood about Fire Emblem games. Why does the protagonist always have blue hair? Sure they're different SHADES of blue...but why blue? Ike, Marth, Ephraim/Erika...well you get the idea. Also, at least one of the other starting characters have red hair. Seth, Cain, Titania...WHAT'S GOING ON? Anyhow I'm off topic. The story is simple, and moves rather fast. Essentially Marth is trying to re-conquer his country that was taken over by a super-powered country with an evil sponsor. He moves from map to map with the objective of seizing the main castle or fort in the land. Don't get me wrong, each map is unique and poses new challenges, but the objective is always the same. There also seems to be a lot of random people willing to join you on your quest. Allies are extremely easy to come by in this game. They will join you for reasons like "I want to free my country" or "I cannot attack such a pretty women" or "I am falling in love with you on the spot so I may as well join you" or "My wife's feet smell bad so I'd rather join you than to stick around with this incredible stench". Well maybe not the last one, but at least you get a wide variety of fighters to mix and match on the battlefield. Then there's the dialogue. Oh God the dialogue. It's not THAT bad, but the characters sound so robotic and state the obvious way too often. They also have a tendancy to make up hilarious new words...I can't remember for the life of me what this one character said, but when I do I'll remember to post it.

That's pretty much it for now. Overall an excellent game. I don't care what a lot of people say about it being a crappy remake, I think it was very well put together. Of course some of the things COULD have been better, but games usually have aspects that could have been improved. That concludes my little talk of the day. It was nice to write about something fun after all I've been doing this week is ripping a poem's entrails out and feeding them to my hungry monster of a paper. That and I have to spit out something for my history paper due Friday. Lordy.

Critial Drivel Theory?

Yes, and I found it quite an amusing title...though I may come to regret it in the future. I am Dr. Schwa. It's not my real name of course (though it would be awesome if it was). I am also not a doctor, nor am I a schwa, but the name has grown on me over time. Dr. Schwa is my pseudonym for Youtube, website and a few forums that I visit, so I thought I'd carry it over to MY NEW BLOG. My predictions are that this will as popular as my other internet exploits. That means it will probably only be read by my friends, and a bunch of old Russian men (I have nothing against old Russian men by the way...you'd just have to see my Youtube stats to understand why I say that).

At any rate, I should probably explain the title. The explanation is that there is no explanation. My Critical Theory textbook is sitting next to me, and I find the word drivel to be hilarious, so I stuck them together. I laughed the entire time. This is a perfect example for what this blog will be like: whatever random nonesense is on my mind at the time. I will try not to complain about my sad, boring life here, for this isn't my diary. Instead I'll complain about other people and the things around me. Okay, okay I'll try to refrain from that too. My main objective is to make people laugh....and maybe give some insight on the current condition of some person in some country with some problem yadda yadda blah blah blah. With emphasis on the blah.

Another reason I made this blog was to put off the writing of my poetry and history papers. Both rather large. Both due this week. Both of which I haven't started. Both of which I get an annurysm thinking about. I swear the purpose of University isn't to educate....it's to see how much work you can throw at a student in a given amount of time. The ones that have a thread of sanity left at the end are ready to be spat out into the world as newly reformed, twitching, sleep-deprived, citizens of society. I'm glad we're making the world a better place.

Before I head back to working (aka staring at a blank document until I get bored and start playing Fire Emblem), I thought I'd touch a bit on what I chose for my topic. I chose James Wright's "Today I Was Happy, So I Made This Poem". I decided to do this poem because I was flipping through an archive of "The Explicator" at the school library, and the poem's name jumped out at me. It was perfect. This poetry class has been a thorn in my side all year. I'm not particularly fond of poetry, but I have discovered even I can find some poetry I can relate to...or at least like enough to get me through the course. I wanted to do this poem because a) I found the title amusing, b) I was getting tired of searching for one and c) because it has the potential to make my prof have what I like to call a "wtf moment". I'm looking forward to the moment I have the actual motivation to get this paper done.