The Curse of Distract----

Literary String Cheese: A Critical Drivel Theory

I was in the shower when I began to craft the beginnings of a plan to rid myself of boredom this summer. Someone must have been learning how the household faucets operate, because I was quickly learning about the differences between freezing hot and scorching cold. Pro tip for the kiddies, rig all household appliances involving water with flamethrowers and liquid nitrogen for best showering experience. That way the possible perpetrators get the best of both worlds, and you get to have a little consistency.



Episode 1: The Curse of Distract---

I have an idea to write about writing. I love reading and discussing the writing experience with other writers, no matter what skill or style they possess (yes, I LOVE it professor). I say that I love the subject because writing is as much about the process as it is about the finished product. My idea for the summer is to write, as often as I can, about being a writer (albeit a poor one) and share my endeavours, past and present, to become a better one. Then I thought, what better way to start than to talk about my greatest writing nemesis: Distraction.

Distraction is defined as household chores, interruptions by friends and family, the sudden desire to watch a few episodes of my favourite show (internet, television, DVD nerd set, etc.), instant messages from the 3+ clients that I run at any given time, the ever-present video game addictions and the realization that I have forgotten to do something important.



As I return from frantically navigating to my e-mail inbox to reply to an “urgent editing crisis,” I am reminded of why I never get anything significant done...unless my marks or paycheck depends on it. Writing has been a lifelong passion, but partially because I've been able to work on it and through it whenever I feel moved to do so. Unlike daily chores and work, I can sit down, isolated from the world and write until I feel like engaging with another activity. Or until my brother knocks at my door to tell me he flushed the toilet twice on me while I was in the shower, but that's besides the point since he wants help watering the plants outside in order to “minimize his time with the mosquitoes.”



By the time I return to my work, I have the desire to continue, but find that I'm at a loss as to how. I had an idea, a train of thought, a sense of connection and flow, and now I have...vague principle to go on and a handful of words I want to “fix.” Then comes the inevitable. The Scrolling. Good Lord love a duck the Scrolling. The ultimate effect of Distraction. I sit, staring at the screen, using the convenient little wheel in the centre of the mouse to move up and down and down and up the document, over and over until I have the words, any words, to continue. This can go on for hours (or days if I leave the document open in the background).

Now, don't think that this is exclusive to computers. Flipping is Scrolling's distant estranged cousin living in Notebook (and often vacations in Loose Leaf). Now personally I prefer Notebook over Loose Leaf (therefore, Flipping does as well). It's a more organized, sequential place (at least in principle). I mean, the infrastructure is there, but its contents can end up in amuck (obligatory bracketed area since the last three sentences had them). Words and Doodles everywhere, with no direction, order or instruction. Loose Leaf lacks that fine infrastructure, but its contents can be brought together at the last moment to see the larger picture. However, either place is prone to Flipping, as the pages turn without seeing or changing what lies within.



Though, that all makes me wonder if Distraction itself is an art or a form of thinking. With Scrolling, Flipping and the extra I spend time I'm fighting those boss battles, or washing the dishes, or riding the bus, or making cookies, or fighting boss battles with cookies on the bus then covering my tracks by washing the dishes, I am concocting new scenarios. If I don't confuse myself before the end.

Since...

Distraction makes me forget if I had a point to make. Whether I have made it. Whether there was a point to be made in the first place. Whether there needs to be one. Whether abstract thinking and awkward analogies are going to make my mind implode.

Because exploding would be messy and disgusting. No one wants to see that. Well, except you back there in the corner with the curly hair and cheap sunglasses. Yes, you.

Weirdo.



Then again, I'm the one who opens a topic by talking about my showering experience and ends it with asking why people started putting mustard in my KD. Honestly, if I have KD without mustard now, it tastes strange to me.



So yeah, who's been putting mustard in my KD? Enquiring minds would like to know.