The Week From Hell is Over!

And I've got a crappy paper and sleep deprivation to show for it.

That seriously had to have been the worst paper I have ever written in my entire lifetime. I was almost embarrassed to hand it in. It really showed me the importance of good preparation and a GOOD TOPIC. The topic I had, (The German Reunification after the Cold War) was a good topic, but I wasn't as enthusiastic about it as I should have been. I did all my research two weeks - one week before...and that consisted of me running around a library finding books that looked like they would be relevant to my topic. Then I took them home, and only completely read one of them that was about 80 pages. I just skimmed the others for anything that looked interesting...I don't even remember what I was trying to argue. That and my thesis sucked. It sucked so much it would put a vacuum to shame. In other words this paper was the equivalent of trying to staple gun a wooden plank to my forehead...then trying to walk around without running into anything. I pretty much did this to myself, and merciful goats it was a hard lesson. If I pull off a C on this paper I will be overjoyed.

This isn't a good thing ladies and gentlemen. This was my term paper. It was worth about 25% of my mark or more. If any other History/English majors out there read this, please please please please please don't be an idiot like me and start these things at least a month ahead. Pick a topic you actually like and then study the hell out of it. If you don't like the class you are in, get out at the BEGINNING of the course. Don't wait until the end to say "oh ho ho this class is simply too passé...excuse me while I shove a crumpet up my arse!" ...I actually don't know anyone who has actually said that, but we'll giggle a bit and move on. Research papers need a lot of work, and honestly they are usually worth the effort. I took on History as a major because of the research paper last term in my "Age of Religious War" class. I loved learning more aobut military technology advancements and the highly debated "Military Revolution" in early modern Europe. The fact that this research paper was a huge pain told me that I needed a different topic, and that this class was not my thing. I have royally messed my academic life up this year focusing on the classes I actually like, depriving the other crummy classes of my time and effort. This is why my options (YES MY OPTIONS) are destroying my mark. From one academic to another (or a possible "another") use your FIRST year to experiment, then get serious, or you too will find a crumpet up your arse.

Something Short

History research papers are my favourite. They are the easiest for me, yet the most time-consuming because of all that research. I can sum them all up in one analogy:

A history research paper is like a mother bird feeding her young. You eat up all the information, let it digest for awhile, then regurgitate it for the hungry University Profs. And they have to eat it too, no matter how disgusting and deformed it has become.

Still Writing Those Papers

But I chose to write this instead.

I must say I'm freaking out, because I left everything to the last minute again. Honestly I don't know anyone who hasn't done that, and those of you that have please share your infinite worldly knowledge of time management. That or fall off a cliff so I don't look so lazy. I'm thinking that a friend of mine and I have a creepily similar mindset, for not 2 days after I made CDT, he makes his own blog...WITH THE SAME TEMPLATE. This happened with Freewebs too. May have even happened with Youtube, but I think I prefer to keep that knowledge unknown. Getting way too weirded out.

Today to waste time (and a little self-preservation) I have decided to talk about the new Fire Emblem for the DS. Fire Emblem has had a special place in my heart right next to Sonic the Hedgehog for gaming since....ehhh about four years. I love the story, I love the gameplay, and I love the challenge. I don't know about any other Fire Emblem players out there, but I make the game harder by not letting any of my characters die. Yes, this means that any time one of my characters die, I start the level over (or from the last save point). I even try to save and recruit all the characters....despite how useless some of them end up being. For anyone who hasn't played Fire Emblem before, the games are turn-based tactical RPGs. The Fire Emblem games take place in fantasy worlds with classic good vs. evil storylines. They also seem to favour the way-ward royal plotline, where the prince or princess' country is taken over by another nation flexing it's superior military might (and usually because some dark, overly malevolent force is bending the ruler of these so-called nations to their will). Though I'm not too sure how these nations accomplish this, for though they have the numbers, all of their generals and soldiers all appear to be giant twats. Then any good soldiers that they have end up being converted to your side anyway. That's besides the point though...ON WITH THE REVIEW YOU GREAT BABBLING TWIT!

Fire Emblem Shadow Dragon is a remake of the original Fire Emblem released only in Japan. I myself have never played the original NES game, but the remake is absolutely brilliant. What it lacks in storytelling, it makes up for in gameplay and prettiness. YES prettiness. This game was so pretty that if this game was converted into a living, breathing human being, I would probably date it. Well that may be going a bit far. If this game were a person it would be making up words and speaking in cheesy clichés. Which would get very irritating after the first few giggles.

Anyhow the game makes use of the duel-screens better than any game I have seen so far. I always found in other Fire Emblem games how annoying flipping between the stats and maps and objectives was. In Shadow Dragon, these screens are displayed on the top half, while the actual game is displayed on the bottom. Everything is laid out for you on the top: character stats, weapon levels, inventory, health, movement and range. Then by pressing the R button you get victory conditions, a lovely little minimap, terrain information, selected character (which shows equipped weapon), turns, number of allies and enemies (and their affiliations) AND the chapter you are on. Absolutely brilliant. Another wonderful set up involves movement. You have the choice of controlling with the buttons or the stylus depending on your style and preferences (I myself prefer the buttons because I find it much quicker). The X button shows you the total movement area of the enemy to better place your units. Selecting a single unit will show that individual unit's movement. The only thing I found irritating about this was that the B button didn't deselect the unit (it does in other Fire Emblem games...). I'd be continually pressing the button before I remembered that it doesn't perform the desired function. I'm just nit-picking now though.

The story is decent. It's not by any means outstanding, but it's decent. The plot keeps you interested enough to keep playing in other words. An obvious "bad-guy" exists, and it's up to blue-haired, boy-wonder, Marth to save the day. That's one thing I never understood about Fire Emblem games. Why does the protagonist always have blue hair? Sure they're different SHADES of blue...but why blue? Ike, Marth, Ephraim/Erika...well you get the idea. Also, at least one of the other starting characters have red hair. Seth, Cain, Titania...WHAT'S GOING ON? Anyhow I'm off topic. The story is simple, and moves rather fast. Essentially Marth is trying to re-conquer his country that was taken over by a super-powered country with an evil sponsor. He moves from map to map with the objective of seizing the main castle or fort in the land. Don't get me wrong, each map is unique and poses new challenges, but the objective is always the same. There also seems to be a lot of random people willing to join you on your quest. Allies are extremely easy to come by in this game. They will join you for reasons like "I want to free my country" or "I cannot attack such a pretty women" or "I am falling in love with you on the spot so I may as well join you" or "My wife's feet smell bad so I'd rather join you than to stick around with this incredible stench". Well maybe not the last one, but at least you get a wide variety of fighters to mix and match on the battlefield. Then there's the dialogue. Oh God the dialogue. It's not THAT bad, but the characters sound so robotic and state the obvious way too often. They also have a tendancy to make up hilarious new words...I can't remember for the life of me what this one character said, but when I do I'll remember to post it.

That's pretty much it for now. Overall an excellent game. I don't care what a lot of people say about it being a crappy remake, I think it was very well put together. Of course some of the things COULD have been better, but games usually have aspects that could have been improved. That concludes my little talk of the day. It was nice to write about something fun after all I've been doing this week is ripping a poem's entrails out and feeding them to my hungry monster of a paper. That and I have to spit out something for my history paper due Friday. Lordy.

Critial Drivel Theory?

Yes, and I found it quite an amusing title...though I may come to regret it in the future. I am Dr. Schwa. It's not my real name of course (though it would be awesome if it was). I am also not a doctor, nor am I a schwa, but the name has grown on me over time. Dr. Schwa is my pseudonym for Youtube, website and a few forums that I visit, so I thought I'd carry it over to MY NEW BLOG. My predictions are that this will as popular as my other internet exploits. That means it will probably only be read by my friends, and a bunch of old Russian men (I have nothing against old Russian men by the way...you'd just have to see my Youtube stats to understand why I say that).

At any rate, I should probably explain the title. The explanation is that there is no explanation. My Critical Theory textbook is sitting next to me, and I find the word drivel to be hilarious, so I stuck them together. I laughed the entire time. This is a perfect example for what this blog will be like: whatever random nonesense is on my mind at the time. I will try not to complain about my sad, boring life here, for this isn't my diary. Instead I'll complain about other people and the things around me. Okay, okay I'll try to refrain from that too. My main objective is to make people laugh....and maybe give some insight on the current condition of some person in some country with some problem yadda yadda blah blah blah. With emphasis on the blah.

Another reason I made this blog was to put off the writing of my poetry and history papers. Both rather large. Both due this week. Both of which I haven't started. Both of which I get an annurysm thinking about. I swear the purpose of University isn't to educate....it's to see how much work you can throw at a student in a given amount of time. The ones that have a thread of sanity left at the end are ready to be spat out into the world as newly reformed, twitching, sleep-deprived, citizens of society. I'm glad we're making the world a better place.

Before I head back to working (aka staring at a blank document until I get bored and start playing Fire Emblem), I thought I'd touch a bit on what I chose for my topic. I chose James Wright's "Today I Was Happy, So I Made This Poem". I decided to do this poem because I was flipping through an archive of "The Explicator" at the school library, and the poem's name jumped out at me. It was perfect. This poetry class has been a thorn in my side all year. I'm not particularly fond of poetry, but I have discovered even I can find some poetry I can relate to...or at least like enough to get me through the course. I wanted to do this poem because a) I found the title amusing, b) I was getting tired of searching for one and c) because it has the potential to make my prof have what I like to call a "wtf moment". I'm looking forward to the moment I have the actual motivation to get this paper done.